She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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