Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
