omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize