So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
