Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
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