I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize