Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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