You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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