The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
