So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
