hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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