this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
