I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
