OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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