batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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