sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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