Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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