then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
