Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just forgot I was standing up.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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