That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
