i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
