Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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