the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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