If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
