ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
