For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
