I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
