dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Small penises have feelings too.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
