The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
