ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
there is puke in my bra ... again
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
