I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do vagina's smell?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
