omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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