you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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