As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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