Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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