so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You took a bar mat shot.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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