I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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