D3 body, D1 cock
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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