Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
apparently the secret to your success is patron
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
