I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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