I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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