I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
