My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize