We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
cat food counts as protein by the way
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
