Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
