If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
