Betty ford says i'm here all night
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
