Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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