Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
