Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
