this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
