We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
