is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
