Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now